" I want to talk to God but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long."
I struggle will coming to the throne after being away, I struggle with condemnation, shame and frankly awkwardness. I guess the best way for me to describe it is calling up a long lost friend who you have wronged in the worst way and wanting to talk to them. How do you do this? How do I, dust (thankfully God knows my frame, He knows I am merely dust) come before my creator and talk to Him? Especially when you spent the entire summer ignoring his loving nudges to come back? My Father was only able to get my attention when I was speeding down I59 with my child convulsing in the back seat! All I could think in that moment with Madelyn shaking in my husbands arms was...I am listening God, I promise! Who am I to return to him? And yet how great is He that He wants me back?!!!
Well you know that I am also a closet Kanya (and other makers of the booty music)fan. :) I just put that in writing to maybe help you feel less embarrassed.
ReplyDeleteGod loves you so very much Rachel and is THRILLED that you have "returned." Yes, you may have been through a period of disobedience (we ALL have been there), but you know those feelings of condemnation are not from God. I went through a VERY difficult period after the girls left (hopefully we can catch up soon and I will go into more detail). Rest in God's amazing, compassionate, merciful grace and don't overthink trying to say the right things or return in the "right" way. You don't have to be nervous like you might have to be with the "friend" scenario you mentioned. They may or may not accept you. God will always welcome you home with open arms. Love you!
I love you Julie!!!!! Tell me when you are free I need to see your sweet face!!!
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