This morning God really sent me a wake up call. My father had a health procedure done today. I am not going to lie, I was and am still afraid. He is more then just my father, he is my daddy. He has always been my "problem fixer." I love him more then I show him, which is sad. But the real tragedy is that I claim to be a follower of Christ, and I have had no more then a few conversations with my father about Jesus. This fact has hit me hard, I can tell you my heart is in my stomach right now. I am nauseous over my narcissism. You see I have used excuses like, they will see the difference in me or that its not worth risking being uncomfortable or worse what if I isolate myself because I'm seen as to weird. I have been to self-adsorbed, to worried about what the world thinks, to consumed with my own issues to truly respond to the mission at hand.
Today my merciful Heavenly Father gave me a glimpse of what real love means. He reminded me of what is at stake for all of the people I love who do not know Christ. He showed me how I have wasted my time and energy and the immense cost of it. Hell is real, eternal damnation is a reality yet I live like its just a far off place that will never affect me. You see I claim to be a Christian, I claim to love Christ. Unfortnatly claiming is not enough. God is showing me how cheap my love is for Him and my earthly father. If I truly loved Christ He would fill my conversations, His aroma would be evident in each step I take. On the flip side if I truly loved my earthly father I would relentlessly show him how much Christ loves him. How much he cost to buy back from death. Now I know I cannot save my father but saying nothing speaks volumes as well.
My challenge to myself as well as anyone who reads this blog, is this: Evaluate your life see if it measures up to the Godly version of love, is it filled with urgency and purpose or is it a matter of days strung together filled with considerate conversations?
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